Saturday, April 2, 2016

WWE Blog ::: Whoa-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Wrestlemania Thoughts and Predictions

Before I wrote out most of these predictions- with the numbers and what not- there were two matches not announced and those were the multi-divas tag team match and AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho.   The multi-divas tag match isn't worth the effort to type about it, but AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho could steal the show if it's given the proper amount of time.   Sadly, this show has a lot going on (like The Rock in an unnamed role) and so I don't expect it to get much time.   Plus, this is the third meeting between these two and I was kind of hoping for them to be in a match for the IC or US title by now, but whatever.   Still should be good.

If nothing else, let us all remember Wrestlemania 32 as the year that everyone got injured because that's sure what it feels like right now.    On with the show!  

Match # 1: The Usos vs. The Dudley Boys

Does this match even matter if it's going to be in the pre-show?   On Smack Down (3/24/16) The Dudleys said they wanted to steal the show at Wrestlemania but newsflash, Bubba, you can't steal the show from the pre-show!   Okay, so I'm not sure if this will be in the pre-show or not but it probably should be, especially since it's not a TLC Match or anything special like that.   Will The Dudleys pass the legacy on and give The Usos the win?  Does it even matter at this point?   I'll say that The Usos get their sort of revenge and win the match then put The Dudleys through a table somehow or whatever.   Let's have this as a feel good moment for The Usos and then they can go back into the tag team title hunt.  

Winners: The Usos

Match # 2: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This is how Tyler Breeze will make his Wrestlemania debut.   A U.S. Title match against Kalisto would have been better.   In any event, we all know Braun Stroman is going to win this because Vincent Kennedy McMahon takes enough Viagra to give himself a hard-on thinking about how big that guy is.   It's not like it matters though because in the past two years this was won by Cesaro and Big Show and a lot of good it did them.   I just wonder how WWE can fill the twenty spots needed here with all of the injuries right now.   Could we see some NXT talent in here??  Whoever is in it though, fully expect these two things to happen: Kane eliminates all of the Social Outcasts (who want to win it together as a team) or maybe Big Show takes out two as Kane takes out the other two at the same time.   And Braun Stroman wins.   Done and done because I'm probably not wasting my time watching the pre-show (It'll likely be on the in the background though)

Winner: Braun Stroman

Match # 3: New Day* vs. League of Nations (Tag Team Championship Match... Maybe)

As I type this right now- the Monday before Wrestlemania 32- I am still unclear as to whether this will be a title match or not.   The fact that WWE can't seem to make up their mind just shows me one thing: New Day will win, so regardless of whether or not the titles are on the line they'll still keep them after Wrestlemania 32.   And why not?  They are one of the only good parts about WWE right now.   More importantly perhaps is what will happen to the League of Nations after Wrestlemania 32.   Wade Barrett is rumored to be leaving WWE when his contract expires and he should probably take the stale Sheamus with him.   Alberto Del Rio needs to find his groove because I'm pretty sure he didn't come back to WWE to be part of the League of Stereotypes.   And then Rusev, well, he should be built up as a monster heel again.   Maybe if The Authority want to make their own World Title on Smack Down! they can help Rusev along with his being a badass with a winning streak again.  I'd still like to see that AJ Styles vs. Rusev match one day with Rusev acting more like Taz than Vladimir Kozlov.    But yeah, New Day will keep their titles and win here without a doubt.

Winners: New Day (rocks)

Match # 4: Kalisto* vs. Ryback (United States Title Match)

One of the reasons why I'm not uploading individual pictures of matches for this preview/predictions column is because there are likely to be twice as many matches at Wrestlemania 32 as there are at NXT TO:D.    Also because for matches like this I'm simply not going to be able to type enough to justify uploading a photo for it.   Ever since WWE had Big Show and Rey Mysterio under the same roof and they booked them in a feud the whole idea of "I'm bigger than you so therefore I'm better than you" should have been crushed.   Really, that's what this match is all about and it's embarrassing.   Kalisto will obviously win and Ryback will go back to the drawing board.    I just wish that Kalisto could have had a Wrestlemania opponent who was a little bit more athletic.   This is one step away from being Kalisto vs. Big Show and, yes, that would also be a terrible match.

Winner: Kalisto 

Match # 5: Charlotte* vs. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch (Divas Title Match)

Everyone knows where I stand on this match.   It doesn't help matters any that the other divas on the roster seem to be forming themselves into groups again as well.   After a hard fought match, which may or may not win me over on Charlotte, Sasha Banks will score the win and become the new WWE Divas Champion because Sasha Banks- despite being booked as a heel- is obviously the most popular diva on the WWE roster right now.   So, this will lead to the fact that Sasha and Becky had to be reluctant partners recently, but Becky will still show respect and give Sasha the handshake and hug.    Charlotte will come over and it will be unclear as to whether she will be nice or not, and when it looks like she might get ideas of breaking up the happy moment, Bayley's music hits, Bayley comes down and they all hug it out as the Four Horsewomen are reunited on the main roster.   Bayley doesn't have to lose the NXT Women's Championship at TO:D for this to all happen (Sasha Banks came up as champ) but it doesn't hurt matters any and I think Wrestlemania weekend is a great time to not only bring Bayley up to the main roster but also usher in a new era of women in NXT with Asuka winning the title two nights before Wrestlemania.   (But, that is also in my NXT TO:D thoughts and predictions as well)

Winner: Sasha Banks (bring on the Four Horsewomen!)

Match # 6: HHH* vs. Roman Reigns (WWE Championship Match)

There is no easy way around this, so here it goes.   Roman Reigns is going to win the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 32.   It's not going to be pretty and the crowd is likely going to shit all over it, but it's going to happen.   The next night on Raw- with Shane McMahon in charge- a brand split will be announced by Vince Daddy and HHH & Stephanie will have control of Smack Down!.   They will create their own title and champion and leave Roman Reigns with *his* title on Raw so that if anyone wants to complain about The Title Reign of Roman Reigns it will look as if they don't like Shane McMahon's "new direction" or "positive change".    Obviously if people don't want to see Roman Reigns as champion they're not going to lump him with the heel brand.   But then, let's say on Smack Down! the champion becomes Kevin Owens.   Then people might like Smack Down! more even though it could be considered to be the "heel show".   Realistically though, if they're going to have a brand split and create their own war of WWE vs. WWE (which they've already done with NXT) then why not have The Authority vs. Roman Reigns just on a larger scale?   If you think about it long enough, it's the only option which makes sense.

Winner: Roman Reigns

Match # 7: Kevin Owens* vs. Sami Zayn vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust vs. Zack Ryder (Intercontinental Ladder Match)

The easiest way to predict this match is to eliminate why the people who won't win simply do not have a good chance of winning.    First off, Zack Ryder is likely only in this match because Neville got injured so cross him off the potential winners list.   Stardust hasn't been relevant since his feud with Arrow so I doubt this is his chance for a title run (Though I could imagine him defeating Kalisto for the U.S. Title, which also would have been better than anything involving Ryback)   Sin Cara will likely go back to being in a tag team with Kalisto while the U.S. Title gets ignored (Kalisto should lose the U.S. Title to focus on the Lucha Dragons, just not to Ryback.   If there is a brand split, I could see someone quickly defeating Kalisto just so the U.S. Title could be on the brand which the IC Title isn't)  Sami Zayn just came up to the main roster and is mainly in this to take huge bumps, so count him out of winning it all.   (Yes, Zayn will go 0-2 Wrestlemania weekend because he is the new J.O.B. Squad Leader)   The Miz has never mattered so he won't win here.   His win on Raw recently over Dolph Ziggler isn't fooling me.    Speaking of Dolph Ziggler, in the event that the WWE Championship goes with The Authority and Shane McMahon has to create his own championship for Raw, I'm betting Ziggles might win it and be the face behind Shane O'Mac's vision or whatever, so let's cross him off of winning this match here.   So who does that leave?  Oh, right.  Kevin Owens.   Kevin Owens is walking in this match the IC Champion and out of this match the IC Champion.   None of these other six wrestlers are worthy of wearing the IC Title.  I don't know how they could get to it, but it would be nice to somehow see a Kevin Owens-Alberto Del Rio feud after Wrestlemania.   Maybe if Del Rio turns on the League he can become a good guy?   In no way am I saying that only Kevin Owens should be IC Champion because I could even see AJ Styles fighting for and winning the title, but as far as this match goes... Yeah, no one is taking this title from him.   They might as well throw in Fandango and Damien Sandow to really stack the odds against him.

Winner: Kevin Owens #KOMania 

Match # 8: Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose (No Holds Barred Street Fight)

I think there are a lot of "dream matches" out there that people would like to see at Wrestlemania but for whatever reasons they either simply cannot be made or just wouldn't feel the same.   Hulk Hogan vs. Steve Austin or John Cena wouldn't feel the same with The Hulkster past his prime.   The Undertaker vs. Sting... Well, both of them are former shells of themselves.   And I could go on, but I won't.   I will just say that Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose is the Wrestlemania Dream Match that you never knew you wanted to see.   Think about it.   Who has been a more dominant force in WWE than Brock Lesnar?   And not only did he debut strong, but he is still booked strong after going to UFC and winning their title.   There is really no other competitor out there with which to compare Brock Lesnar.   And yet, as much as you have this beast who seems poised to rip through the competition, on the other side of this match you have Dean Ambrose.   And it's No Holds Barred.    Brock Lesnar might be able to out-wrestle Dean Ambrose, but can he out-hardcore him?   Dean Ambrose has a history of CZW death matches behind him.   We all know he can handle the pain.   This is the battle of The Destroyer vs. That Which Cannot Be Destroyed.   I fully expect it to be the highlight of the show.   My only hope is that it stays contained as one match and doesn't spill out across the arena to the outside ala the Wrestlemania street fight between Roddy Piper and Goldust.   I'm not saying they have to stay in the ring, but didn't several other matches occur while those two fought outside and then finally made it back into the ring?  Yeah, let's not do that gimmick again please.   But this is undoubtedly the match I am most looking forward to on this show if only because WWE has unleashed Brock Lesnar in a No Holds Barred environment and when he had a similar match with John Cena some years back it was also brutal.   This should be one for the ages and I have no idea how either man is going to lose but since I'm picking winners I'll do what seems right and not go against Lesnar.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

Match # 9: The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon (Hell in the Cell ./. If Shane wins, he gets the power and Undertaker retires via Vince McMahon.   If 'Taker wins it's business as usual)

On paper this match looks like it could be a bathroom break simply because Shane McMahon has been so far removed from WWE I've almost forgot about him as a wrestler and The Undertaker is simply a shell of his former self and so this isn't even the same match we'd see, say, five years ago.    I expect this to be one of those slow spotfests where one guy hits a big move (like The Undertaker) and the other goes crashing through a bunch of stuff (like Shane McMahon) and then they spend a lot of time recovering.    But the most important question is: who wins?    Well, if it wasn't any more obvious who WWE wants you to *think* will win, then we all know that Shane McMahon is going to win this one.   Why?   Well, if it was a standard match Shane might seem like he has a fighting chance, but since it's Hell in the Cell it seems as if these are odds which Shane McMahon simply cannot overcome... which means he will overcome them.

In the aftermath, as Vince, Stephanie and HHH are on Raw the next night congratulating Shane McMahon on his win, Vince will point out how Shane McMahon wanted control on "Monday Night Raw", play the clip and say that Shane can have Raw but then HHH and Stephanie can have Smack Down!.   Brand split, book the draft, blah blah blah, you know the rest.    It's one of the only things which makes sense right now.   Other than Shane McMahon vowing to push talent that has been overlooked (Tyler Breeze please) he also said he's going to stop undeserving talent from being pushed and I'm not sure who that's really in reference to, so I kind of want to see Shane win just to figure out who that's supposed to be a shot against exactly.

Winner: Shane McMahon (and the brand split begins again!)

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