Friday, April 11, 2014

Semen Priest [Interview #170 with REX]

1)     Your name immediately makes me think of the Catholic church and their scandals involving priests.  Is that intentional?

Well, yeah, that's the obvs interpretation. But for us it's 10x deeper. Dig right downtown into primordial male MAJICK. Like the BLACK SUN shit groups like COIL would talk about. You know, like Aleister Crowley drinking seed kind of communion. I mean, we're down with that, sure. Fry it up with fava beans and a nice chianti. But we're into female majick too, of course. The vaginal shit. Need to keep it balanced, or reality starts to unravel. That's what's gone wrong in the world. Too much fucking male energy is out there unchecked. All YANG-a-ling-lang and not enough YIN. That's what the upside down phallus cross is about. Equating too much male energy with SATANISM and evil. Not that anyone gets that. Or would care if they did. But it cums full circle with the Catholic church stuff. Male energy gone so far up its ass it's thinks fucking young boys is SACRED. That's what "Taste The Beast" is about.

2)     Would you ever consider covering “The Rainbow Connection”, especially with the new Muppets movie out?

No. I mean, if someone paid us dolladollabill$$$ then ya. But that song is nine ways of bullshit. Read the fucking lyrics. I just Googlized them to confirm it and they's bullshit. Everyone thinks it's some inclusionary/visionary shit because the MUPPETS are somekind of furry GANDHIs or something. But it says NUTTIN. "It ain't easy being green" has 1-million x the truth. Rainbow is just a bunch of bullshit with a gross, wimpy melody. The line about young sailors is kind of homoerotic, I guess though. A disco mix could work. Not by us though. Kylie fuckin' Minogue or someone.

3)     What is your relationship like with Arachnidiscs?

What relationship? Pretty sure Jakob hates us. And the feeling isn't unmutual. They've done shit for us. Our album is fucking amazing and they just sat on it. It's like we spend all our time kicking his ass to do shit and nothing gets done. He keeps pushing us to tour but isn't giving us $$$ to tour. And no money to do a proper video. We have all these ideas and we can't do them becau$$$e. Anyway, he never sent cops after us about the bloody condom thang, so... it's all good? He knows we're not serious about shit. Whatevs. 

4)     You’ve released a split and a collaboration with Tranzmit.  What is your relationship like with Tranzmit?

Well, that's fucking Jakob again. He's TRANZMIT so the relationship is pretty much the same pile. But better. Which is super weird. Like schizophrenic weird. We like working with him as a musician more than as a label. He actually seems interested in doing the music stuff. Which WE DIDN'T EVEN ASK HIM TO DO. He fucking took our new single and "improved" it without asking. Removed our vocals and added all that radio shit and made it longer. The result is kind of amazing, so it's fine, I guess. But, that fucking guy... GOTTA LUV HIS AZZ.

5)     Who else would you be interested in collaborating with or sharing a split with in the future?

Dream collab? I dunno. DAFT PUNK, but that'll never happen. *sadface* UNDERWORLD, Xcept they suddenly started to suck. *double-plus SADFACE*. How does that happen? A band makes amazing records for what? 15 years? Then they just turn to shit with that last one? I guess their first two records were crimes against hearing too. *shrug*.... That leaves Lady Gaga. I think we could perform CPR on her career. Call us. We're ready to let you vomit cum on us.

But realistically? Maybe DOOMSQUAD? We heard one of those dude's liked our tape. Which is probably a complete fucking lie. Or, what's that girl called? Vile Bitch? No, Bile Sister? Yeah, I just googlized it and that's her. Zsa Zsa's a fan. Bile Sister. That's a good name. Not as good as SEMEN PRIEST, but good name. All those assholes are in Toronto and we're not in Toronto. And, you know what? Fuck smug-ass Toronto. I guess we could do email collabs like with TRANZMIT but... 

6)     Will “Grung Grindr” see a physical release?

Fucked if we know. Wanted it to be a 12" but Arachnidiscs won't do it. $$$ issues. We're feeling out other labels. We'll never self-release because only assholes self-release. It's like literal figurative musical masturbation to put your own shit out. We didn't even want to do Bandcamp but Arachnidiscs said we had to. 

7)     Do you feel that cassettes are the optimal way to experience recorded music?

VINYL is and always will be the optimus prime. CDs are shit. Tapes are some kind of audio limbo. 

8)     What is the music scene like in Canada?  It seems like there are some really good artists coming out of there recently. 

Besides us you mean? If you say so. If you look on websites like Weird Canada, it seems real vibrant. Maybe it IS in places like Toronto and Vancouver and Montreal. But I'm writing from buttfuck nowheresville and thre's A LOT of buttfuck nowheresvilles between those cities. Most of canada is buttfuck nowheresville and the music scene is accordingly shitty. Like the sound of dad's sticking their thumbs up their asses and whistling. That's the Canacian music scene. In our town, we're the only real thing going. Unless there's other kids recording in their bedrooms and we don't know it. Probably. There's no shows here. I know that FOR SURE. Nowhere to even PUT ON a show. It's a Greyhound ride to get to one. Winnipeg or Regina. And when you go see shows there, it's not worth it. It's like you spend all that money to go watch someone HATING THEIR LIFE because they're playing Winnipeg or Regina. Like, where's the professionalism? Where's the ROCK? Maybe it's just the kind of asshole bands we like to go see.

9)     Final thoughts, shout outs, etc… ??


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