Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Loose Cannon Fodder #28 [07.15.16]

The current episode of ROH TV- as I type this- is their best matches from ROH so far this year.   We decided to pass on watching that since it would feature matches we've likely already seen.    Next week will likely be the busiest week so far in Loose Cannon Fodder as Smack Down! goes live on Tuesday with the draft, ROH TV should return with new matches, Lucha Underground has its Season Three finale and the CWC will be in its second week as well.    Really, starting next week it will be: Raw / Smack Down! / Impact / Lucha Underground / NXT / CWC / ROH TV with only Lucha Underground being taken out of the equation after one week and the CWC going through September.    Yes, things are about to get crazy but I'm ready for some great wrestling and given that I only tend to watch professional wrestling or cartoons on television it works out rather well I'd say.

With the MLB All-Star Game on Tuesday night we had our professional wrestling schedule shifted as we watched Impact before Raw this week.    This episode was themed around Destination X and was to feature Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards- title vs. title- and so it was actually a good looking show on paper, coming off of what I at least thought was a lot of fun last week with Final Deletion.   (Though if you tell TNA fans that it was "so bad it was good" they still get offended.   Go figure)

Destination X opened with an X Division Ladder Match to crown a number one contender to the X Division Title.    DJ Z won the match by pulling down a giant neon green "X".   You know, DJ Z used to come out as the DJ for BroMans- who I loathe- but he's come a long way since then and I'm really happy that he's getting this title shot now.   It actually feels like TNA is either listening to me or just doing what is best for their company in terms of booking.

After the match, DJ Z was being interviewed by Jeremy Borash when he was attacked by Mike Bennett.   Bennett said he was going to burn TNA to the ground.  Whoa, there.  They seem to be doing a good enough job of that themselves.

Some interview lady was with Dixie Carter who plugged Impact moving to Thursdays next week (so much for my theory of watching everything up until Wednesday)   Dixie said to make sure you tune in right at 8 and then the other interview lady said if you can't watch live to make sure you tape it.    Yeah... I don't really watch any wrestling live, so TNA being on Tuesday with Smack Down! has no bearing on my watching schedule, but isn't it odd that Lucha Underground can exist on Wednesdays with NXT and yet Impact and Smack Down! keep playing musical chairs?

Eddie Edwards and Lashley had a staredown and exchanged words.   Lashley attacked Edwards before Davey Richards came down and made the save.   Davey Richards is back and I am once again excited for TNA!!  DJ Z could be X Division Champion and the American Wolves can go back to their feud with The Decay.   Happy times!!

Matt Hardy had a crazy segment where he crowned his baby as a king.   This is all still so bad it's good, you know.  It's not just funny because it's awful, it just has this new level of comedy to it.   As the father of a four year old Quentin I can truthfully say that if I was in Matt Hardy's shoes and had my first child while in TNA, yeah, I'd probably do something similar.   It just... It's not something you can explain in terms of being bad or good, funny or serious, black or white-- it just is what it is and I'm actually enjoying it and want to see where it goes when Matt Hardy goes after someone other than Brother Nero.

Abyss was up against Bram next and during the match Josh Mathews noted next week would be an extended episode, which means more than two hours I suppose.   We're getting into Bound For Glory and TNA is actually getting somewhat interesting again.   Could Matt Hardy win the BFG Tournament??   Is Bram even still relevant though?  Can The Decay bring back Jimmy Havoc??

During the Knockouts Division Title match, Sienna retained her title over Gail Kim, Marti Belle and Jade.   So... Can we get some more Knockouts for Sienna to challenge now since she's basically run through the whole division already??

Matt Hardy hates mustard and Lashley cut a backstage promo wearing a Colorado Rockies hat.   Yes, really (to both).

Matt Hardy came out and introduced Brother Nero and basically said he'd bleed him dry of every penny and Brother Nero would find out that deletion is worse than death.

Mike Bennett and Maria are out next and without even saying a word they've already ruined this show because, well, I don't want to hear them talk.   DJ Z comes out and apparently we're going to have a fight now.   DJ Z already fought and won tonight and Mike Bennett has possibly the worst music in the history of professional wrestling.    With a distraction by the Helms Dynasty and a unification of the X Division wrestlers, DJ Z got the win over Mike Bennett which was actually nice because it makes him look more credible going into his eventual title shot.   Bennett says he's going to burn the company to the ground still but he's not going to do it alone.   Duh.   Maria is by his side, Eli Drake is a dork, BroMans is probably still a tag team...

Mike Bennett was then shown backstage on his phone talking to his mystery man (men?) while Drew Galloway headed to the ring and called out EC3.     The two fight and then Eddie Edwards is getting taped up.   The eight men for the Bound For Glory tournament next week are announced and it's pretty much who you would expect to be in it.   Could we call it now-- EC3 and Drew Galloway in the finals?  I'll have to check the TNA site and see if they have brackets up or not.

In the main event, Lashley tried to hit Edwards with the title belt until Davey Richards came out and made the save.   Mike Bennett came down and then Moose made his TNA debut to little fanfare.    It's like TNA is taking my least favorite wrestlers from ROH and I'm okay with that.   Moose and Lashley had a nice staredown but, you know, Moose has such a long way to go in the ring with a guy who does legit MMA.    I'm not sure what is worse: the fact that when Mike Bennett came out during the match Josh Mathews asked "What is he doing out here?" just as quickly as he answered himself by noting that he's ruining Destination X (as Bennett said he would) or the fact that Moose is really only going to be seen as signing with TNA because WWE wouldn't offer him a deal because of the recent Jerry Lawler and Adam Rose domestic abuse charges.   I'm not sure TNA can make Moose into a really big star or anything, but here is to hoping they can prove me wrong.  

Raw opened with a battle royal to determine a number one contender for the IC Title.  The Miz was on commentary and had to point out annoying things like how he and Maryse could not be split up in the draft.   There was a note made that Baron Corbin had the Andre the Giant Trophy at ringside to intimidate the other battle royal entrants, but he still didn't win.   Darren Young won and somewhere Titus O'Neil is probably upset.

Sheamus defeated Zack Ryder (who is challenging Rusev for the US Title at Battleground) while Breezango defeated the Lucha Dragons but Hulu edited out both of those.   Seth Rollins had an interview with Roman Reigns, which is something we've seen before on The Edge and Christian Show.   Dean Ambrose showed up and long story short, the two will have their one on one title match next week on Raw which should not end well for anyone.   Not even the ratings.

Kevin Owens defeated Cesaro somehow.   Apparently Sami Zayn had the main event match against Chris Jericho on Smack Down! and Kevin Owens was on commentary.   Sami Zayn thought it'd be fair for him to be on commentary, but then Kevin Owens had him removed from ringside.   Makes sense.   After the match, Sami Zayn still came back out and attacked Kevin Owens.  Are you sure these two can't do a Hell in the Cell??

We didn't get to see Titus O'Neil defeat Heath Slater on the Hulu replay but we did see some weird segment between The Wyatt Family and New Day which was... kind of... like Final Deletion.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass defeated Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson.   When AJ Styles tried to tip the scales after the match John Cena made his "surprise" return.  Yawn.  Let's just have this match before I get even more sick of it.

Sasha Banks defeated Dana Brooke and after the match Charlotte said that Sasha didn't deserve a title shot just because she had pink and purple hair.   Someone should get Charlotte's eyesight checked.  Seriously.

In the "main event", Vince McMahon named Shane O'Mac the Commissioner of Smack Down! and Stephanie for Raw.  The best part was when right after they were done being named, Michael Cole literally botched it by saying that Shane was the Commissioner of Raw.  I guess with Vince McMahon in the ring there is no one backstage to feed him the accurate information.  

Lucha Underground opened Ultima Lucha Dos (part two of three) with their Gift of the Gods match.   Sinestro de la Muerte was eliminated first by Night Claw and then Daga was eliminated by Night Claw a little time later as well.    I wish Daga won this match because he's had enough build as a strong character to be Lucha Underground Champion.   Sinestro has pretty much been a sidekick up until this point though.   Marty The Moth reminds me of a darker Bo Dallas at times and, yes, if you're making a custom action figure of Marty The Moth I do suggest the Bo Dallas Mattel head.    Killshot eliminated Night Claw (who I want to call Night Crawl, as in Nightcrawler) and it comes down to Killshot and Sexy Star vs. Marty The Moth and his sister.   I expect a Killshot-Night Claw feud to come from this match.   Marty The Moth eliminates Killshot and hangs the dog tags over his head.   It is not the crazy brother-sister duo versus Sexy Star as Matt Striker wonders outloud if Sexy Star can overcome the odds and all I can think is "Shit, she's going to win now".   Sexy Star eliminates Mariposa and the fans chant "Kill The Moth" as I purchase a Basic Bo Dallas figure on eBay for $8.99 to make a Marty The Moth custom out of it.    It comes down to this somewhat strange rivalry (which doesn't have The Mack in it right now) and Sexy Star makes Marty tap to the armbar.   Sexy Star wins the Gift of the Gods title and she now has a title shot in the future.   Matt Striker jumps on his women's right soapbox which would have felt a lot better if someone had won this match who didn't hide behind a mask (ahem, Ivelisse)

There is a backstage interrogation segment with Joey Ryan, Cortez and Mr. Cisco, which was just all right.   Something is going on and I'm not sure what.

Matt Striker and Vampiro run down the card and it feels like there are too many matches yet to be seen with only the rest of this episode and next week to go.

The second ever Death Match in Lucha Underground is up next as King Cuerno takes on Mil Muertes.    After a great brawl- including Mil Muertes' head going through a window- Mil Muertes defeated King Cuerno and you have to wonder now whether or not this could mean the end for the King Cuerno character.

Matt Striker asks Vampiro how he feels about being Pentagon Jr's "master" and Vamp dumps his pills in the trash.   So, they previewed the Rey Mysterio Jr vs. Prince Puma match and there is also the Trios Championship as well as Mantanza vs. Pentagon Jr. and Ivelisse vs. Taya, so... At least four matches next week.    After the credits roll, Dario Cueto is being asked by Mr. Cisco if he can get in on whatever he has going on.  Dario suspects he's wearing a wire, rips the wire off of him and yells at the police.   Dario asks Mr. Cisco if the police want him on charges of murder, to which Cisco says "I don't think so" and then Cueto says, "They do now" and smashes him with some big statue thing from his desk.  So yeah, this show ended with Dario Cueto making a phone call and saying "It's time" after killing Mr. Cisco.    Hopefully Dario Cueto had Homicide on the other line.  

I was going to wait to post this until after we watched NXT- the episode with Nakamura vs. Balor- but since I've already started working on LCF29 it seems somewhat pointless now and so I'll just include two weeks worth of NXT in the next edition and publish this one now.  

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