Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Loose Cannon Fodder #22 [06.03.16]

Raw this week opened with Shane and Stephanie talking about the brand split, which brought out the New Day who wanted to know questions we all want answers to, such as who is going to run each show and will the draft mean that tag teams get split up, as they have a history of doing.    The McMahons provided no real answers and made it seem like Vince McMahon was about to lose his deal with USA Network and just said, "We'll go live!  Brand split!"  to save the shows and now he's actually got to put together the pieces of it all.   Anyway, like in most businesses, Shane and Stephanie were having a dance off, but when Stephanie was about to dance The Vaudevillains came out.    Before the match, Michael Cole must have said that The Vaudevillains could get back into the title picture by defeating the champs in a non-title match a thousand times.    The match came to an end when New Day were attacked by Anderson & Gallows, who later said they did it to show they didn't need AJ Styles.   This was interesting because it sets up a triple threat of sorts for the tag titles and I like it.

Apparently, we missed The Usos defeating Breezango.    Perhaps I should change my Hulu 90 Minute Raw Replay settings to include the term "Usos".  ... Nah.

Roman Reigns was out next and he called out Seth Rollins.   Seth Rollins faked getting into the ring to fight Roman Reigns what felt like a hundred times.    I don't know how many times Seth Rollins needed to go up and down that entrance ramp to prove the point that he wanted you to believe he was getting in the ring but he really wasn't, but he did it that many times and then about twenty more.    Seriously, this was hard to sit through because I just wanted it to end and yet he kept coming back like a bad running gag.

United States Champion Rusev defeated Zack Ryder and as with Smack Down! and his match against Kalisto, Titus O'Neil came down after the match to confront Rusev.   I'm not sure I want Titus to win the United States title, but it is nice to see a somewhat fresh face in there.   WWE is doing a decent enough job right now of building him up as a credible foe for Rusev and even if it just leads to Rusev building steam as a monster heel again it will be worth it.

Enzo Amore & Big Cass defeated The Dudleys.   Someone on commentary (probably Michael Cole) asked about the possibility of Enzo and Cass being split apart in the draft.    I think we need to put a freeze on all tag teams right now if WWE wants to take their tag team division seriously again.   There is no good reason to break up tag teams, not for some silly feud and not for some poorly planned draft.   If WWE begins splitting teams I will complain even more than I do now.

John Cena made his Raw return and basically said that anyone who was part of the new school who wanted to matter in WWE needed to go through him.    So, AJ Styles came out and the commentators questioned why because they're stupid.   AJ Styles and John Cena had this moment for a while where they didn't talk and the crowd just chanted.   Stupid waste of time.   We get it, one was the face of TNA and the other the face of WWE.   Let's get down to business.   Gallows & Anderson came out and AJ looked like he was going to side with Cena for a tag match but then AJ turned on Cena (But were they ever really friends?) and the three members of The Club beat down John Cena.    Remember when Seth Rollins kept faking getting into the ring earlier in the show?   Yeah, AJ Styles kept leaving and coming back, so that seems to be the theme this week for some unknown reason.

Dana Brooke defeated Natalya and Baron Corbin defeated Dolph Ziggler by DQ in two matches which did not air on the Hulu replay.    However, we did sit through all that Charlotte crap one more time but then they showed a clip and called it "earlier today" or something and Stephanie McMahon basically called Charlotte a waste of talent.  I wish they had done this in the ring, in front of the live crowd though.   That would have been a nice pay off for having to sit through that awful, awful segment last week.

In the main event, members of the MITB ladder match exchanged finishers before Dean Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds on Kevin Owens and won the match.   This should plant the seeds for Dean Ambrose to win MITB, especially because then Dean Ambrose could be crazy enough to cash it in on the same night that he wins it.   So imagine how many people will now think Dean Ambrose will win MITB, then cash it in for the main event and we see The Shield Triple Threat finally.    Right now though I'm strongly leaning towards Kevin Owens winning it and if he doesn't then perhaps Sami Zayn but when Zayn tries to cash in Kevin Owens costs him the title, furthering their feud.   I don't know, but this match is kind of exciting since there is a seventh yet-to-be-named participant.

Next up was Impact for us and it opened with Mike Bennett and Maria wondering who was in charge of the show since Dixie Carter gave someone control for whatever reason.   Since Bennett is feuding with EC3, surprise surprise, he's in charge tonight.     He gives Mike Bennett the night off from wrestling but makes him do janitorial work.   Lashley then comes out and EC3 says it's time for his match as Drew Galloway has picked his opponent.    Bram comes out, loses to Lashley and then Eli Drake cashes in his briefcase and wins the King of the Mountain Title from Bram.   If I was Bram, I'd be upset with Drew Galloway.

The Bro Mans defeated Rockstar Spud and Tyrus, which apparently earns them a title shot at Slammiversary.    EC3 then threatens to fire Maria because, you know, he's running the show so he can fire people I guess, and then they set up Gail Kim vs. Maria for Slammiversary- a feud which is SUPPOSED TO BE OVER- and then it turns into a match with Allie and Sienna vs. Gail Kim and Jade.    Allie (aka Cherry Bomb) took the loss, but I like the idea of her teaming with Sienna (aka AK-47) just not them with Maria so much.

Mike Bennett defeated James "I Wish I Had Stayed in NXT" Storm but then EC3 came out and James Storm was able to hit his finisher on Bennett after the match, so at least there was that.    This whole thing with humiliating Mike Bennett during this show just seemed kind of... I don't want to say childish, but it seemed like something we would have seen in wrestling twenty years or more ago and it should have stayed there.   Whoever thought this was a good idea should rethink what they think "good" means.

In the main event match, Drew Galloway defeated The Decay when Lashley tried to spear Galloway but got Abyss instead.    Look, I'm all for these dumb "pick your poison" matches, but shouldn't the tag team champions be able to defeat Drew Galloway?   Doesn't this just make Decay look weak?  I mean, they could blame Lashley, but still.   I'd like to see Decay get the win here and Galloway could just chalk it up to being unfair because it wasn't one on one.    Though, since Decay is facing Bro Mans at Slammiversary they shouldn't be too worried.   I'm pretty sure Rosemary could defeat both members of Bro Mans by herself simply by tying their boot laces together.   Oh... Umm... Did I just give away a finish for that match at Slammiversary?  Oops.

The final segment of Impact had the contract signing between Matt and Jeff Hardy, which they had been building to all night and even showed Jeff riding on his dirt bike to get to Matt's house at one point.    Matt took Jeff out into a ring in a barn to sign the contract.   When Matt was in the ring with Jeff on the apron, Reby Sky came in and appeared to throw baby Maxwell at Jeff, who caught it only to realize it was a doll and then Matt hit Jeff over the head with something and awkwardly put him through a table that was round and didn't break.   This. Felt. Like. Something out of a bad play.   I usually tend to think "Wtf did I just watch?" after Impact anyway, but this was just taking that idea to a whole new level.   Wow.  It felt like somebody filmed this themselves and uploaded it to YouTube and that's what we were watching.   It was B-Movie meets Backyard Wrestling and it just had no place in TNA, a place where Pepper Parks is happy to be joining.   And yes, I skipped over his "sit down" and the awfulness of Al Snow's new friends on purpose this week.    I like Pepper Parks but that sit down deal was garbage and, yeah, Al Snow is mad about how people get into the business these days so why not mentor two guys who failed in NXT.   Makes sense to me.   Next week is the go home show for Slammiversary and I expect it to be a full fledged disaster.

NXT opened up this week with The Revival, who were then greeted by Ciampa and Gargano.   They exchanged words, which was good because it was something both teams needed to do to build up their characters a bit, and of course a match was booked for later in the show.

The first match saw Tye Dillinger defeat Buddy Murphy.   This week, I learned that Murphy's first name is "Buddy" and not actually "Blake".   Yes, "Blake Murphy" could be a legit name and since I hear them together so much I always think they're the same.   They seem like the same guys to me anyway, so it's better for them to split and develop their own identities.   Do I keep repeating that sentiment?   Murphy looks like Sami Zayn with longer hair.   Glad to see The Perfect 10 get the win here and it was announced the day after this that at NXT TO:TE Dillinger will face whatever WWE is calling La Sombra.

Finn Balor and Samoa Joe had a sit down interview with Corey Graves in between them.   It was kind of strange and I don't think these types of things need to be done to promote this match.

Austin Aries defeated Elias Samson, who is taking losses from everyone coming into NXT these days.   If the FKA La Sombra debuts at TO:TE next Friday, June 10th, then how long do you think it will take for him to be getting a win over Elias Samson?   I'm guessing before the end of June.

Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa defeated The Revival, which was a pretty big win considering The Revival is getting a title shot next week at TO:TE.   Will NXT actually have matches next Wednesday though or will it all just be a clip show leading up to TO:TE?   I guess I'll have to wait and see.    I legit thought this match was the end of the show and was about to turn it off when I realized we still had the contract signing coming up.    The Nia Jax-Asuka thing was basic booking: make Jax look strong going into the match next week so it looks like she has a chance of winning the title, which she likely won't win.   I'm more undecided on whether I'm going to write a preview for NXT TO:TE or simply live Tweet it.

Lucha Underground had three matches this week, so it seemed to be somewhat phoning it in like NXT because two of them were title matches- one was a rematch and the other announced last week.   In the opening contest, Son of Havoc defeated Daga and I feel like for all that Lucha Underground has hyped up Daga he needs to start getting some wins that matter.

The current Trios Champions defeated the former Trios Champions when Puma hit Johnny Mundo with a low blow.   Matt Striker and Vampiro complained about how it happened in the match before and there was no DQ but now it does get the DQ or something.   I don't know.  I've always felt like Lucha Underground didn't have as many rules in The Temple, but also that since it was a title match the ref wouldn't end it in a DQ.   But if it leads to Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. I'll take it.  (Prince Puma vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. is also okay)

In the main event, Mantanza Cueto defeated Cage to retain the title.   This was actually a better match than I thought it would be.   Cage is very, VERY slowly growing on me and Mantanza is someone who only seems to be in his position based upon his brother (At least in terms of storyline, not in real life backstage or anything) but had a decent match here with Cage somehow.   Then again, maybe I'm just not fully over that Ambrose-Y2J Asylum Match at Extreme Rules.   :::shudder::: 

Since Smack Down! is going live soon, we've been neglecting the taped version of it and we also haven't made it to the new episode of ROH TV either but that will all just have to wait until next week now because time is running out for us this week and it's almost time to watch Raw again.  

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