When I first moved to Texas, Ume was one of the first bands that I heard about, listened to and really sought out to like because they were that good. Now here I am, some odd years later, living back in Connecticut, and Ume still exists. I mean, I didn’t expect the state of Texas to stop moving because I left because it is kind of deflating when you realize you probably missed an awesome album release show.
This makes me miss a lot about Texas in terms of music, but then it brings to mind a dream I had recently. I was in either a sort of hospital, either legal or mental, and it looked like a cafeteria. Everyone was dressed the same, sitting at tables and making pictures out of those little hollow plastic beads.
A woman, whom I assume was in charge of this room, asked me where I was from. I stumbled through my complicated answer I have been known to give for the past year or so:
“Well, I’m from Connecticut originally, but I spent nearly ten years in Texas, but now I’m back in CT”.
I was then told something very clearly that I remembered when I woke up and still remember to this day, obviously. She said to me, she asked, how could I find peace within when I wasn’t even sure where I was from? Perhaps to stop some of my inner conflicts I needed to choose one place instead of feeling torn between the two.
This was brilliant and a manifestation of my subconscious, but still, I knew what I needed to do. Though I haven’t had any grand revelations otherwise because I’m not going to end this story by saying that I chose one and feel better for it because I’m not ready to do that. I’ll live with the struggle for now if it means getting to keep both pieces of me.
The thing is, I know I’m ultimately going to have to accept that I live in CT now since I’m here for the foreseeable future. One day I might get to that place, sure. But right now, this album just has me really missing Texas.