Monday, March 21, 2016

Professional Wrestling Review ::: Ohio Valley Wrestling TV # 856

Thanks to Botchamania I found out that Ohio Valley Wrestling has a television show which can be streamed through their website and while every episode isn't available a few of them are, so I started with the oldest one and it was number 856.    It opened up with footage from last week (I think?) and some guy named Big Jon chokeslammed a referee.   This guy has an Amish beard and lots of tattoos so this should be interesting.

Match One: Eric Locker vs. Tyler Matrix

Eric Locker looks like OVW should consider bringing in Colt Cabana and Tyler Matrix has that generic long tights look to him which you can find in the older days of FCW with guys like Trent?, who has since gone on to do some amazing things.    But why would you use a wrestling name with "Locker" in it?   Will he get a tag team partner called Johnny Gymbag?   After a false finish (rope break) Tyler Matrix scores the pin and win.

The commentators are shown.  One guy is nicknamed "The Dude" and the other doesn't have a Twitter handle.   If you're in the business of professional wrestling, you probably want to get yourself a Twitter account.

A commercial is shown and it is said that you can train at OVW.  I recommend everyone within driving distance do just that.   They are the feeder system for TNA, right?

Highlights are shown of how Jessie Belle crossed Ryan Howe and cost him the Television Title.

Match Two: Shane Andrews & Jessie Belle vs. Bud Dwight & Maria James

This is a mixed tag team match and the first team is referred to as "The Bad Boys Club", but Jessie Belle is the Womens Champion.   Confusing.    Bud Dwight is called the "Party Starter" and Shane Andrews looks like Big Vito only smaller.  Is someone using the gimmick "Little Vito" yet?  Would Big Vito sue??   This match has the concept where those of the same gender must fight, so WWE rules not Lucha Underground rules.    Maria James pinned Jessie Belle to end the match and the only one in here that I think has any potential is Shane Andrews.   He could be booked like Tomasso Ciampa and make a fairly good name for himself.

Next up is a promo with someone wearing a shirt that says "Satan is a big stupid" and then it cuts off.   They're talking to someone who looks like Human Tornado and someone else in an Assassin mask.   So is this tag team called The Bible Thumpers or what?   Okay, so the shirt says "Satan Is A Big Stupid Doo Doo Head" and this is the team of Stuart Miles (wearing the shirt) and Adam Revolver.

Upcoming shows in January and February are advertised so this is either early January 2016 or late 2015 some time.

Match Three: Ravishing Ronnie vs. Mitch Huff

Ravishing Ronnie has an "R" made of chest hair and Mitch Huff is called "The Chosen One", which I'm sure both Drew McIntyre and Obi-Wan are upset about.    During this match when Ronnie was stomping Mitch in the corner the feed froze on me (I casted it to my television using Chromecast) so I had to stop and watch it again via the ol' laptop.     Ravishing Ronnie hit a Rude Awakening on the apron and it's clear he wants to be Rick Rude but despite Mitch Huff being able to kick out, Ronnie's leg was clearly under the ropes anyway, so yeah, he's a bit far away from being Rick Rude I'd say.   Ronnie missed a top rope leg drop and it was funny because it looked like he hurt his butt.    Despite his unfortunate nickname, Mitch Huff looks like he could be a rough-and-tumble type of wrestler and I do like that about him.   Following a superkick, Mitch Huff gets the win and I'd say that was the right call here.

Big Jon is shown arriving at the arena.   No, really, a few seconds was just wasted watching someone walk.   Back to another pitch to get you to train at OVW and then more ads for upcoming shows.   If they began plugging their own merch, this could feel like an old episode of ECW Hardcore Television.

Randy Royal is shown getting beatdown by Ryan Howe, who was apparently suspended.     Dean Hill seems to be the Jack Tunney type figure here and he told Howe to clean out his locker because he's fired.

Josh Ashcroft comes out to cut a promo in the ring and I believe his mic was off.   Dean Hill comes out and this in ring segment is so quiet.   Big Jon is out next and apparently Josh Ashcroft is mad at Big Jon for something and these two need to fight.   Big Jon looks like Big Drake with an Amish beard.    Josh Ashcroft is wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a dress jacket but also he has a long chain wallet.   He needs a makeover from someone other than Chris Jericho.    Big Jon chokeslams the friend of Josh Ashcroft and then hits Ashcroft to end the segment with a match set up for next week apparently.

Footage is shown involving a cage and ladders.   Why isn't that the show I am watching?  We're back into local advertisements to come out to the shows which have already happened and are far away from me.

Another recap is shown and Ryan Howe gets blinded.    Didn't the commentators just say Ryan Howe had his redemption and now he was blinded by Randy Royal?  Makes sense.  And it was never shown how Ryan Howe got his job back, but oh well, here comes the match.

Match Four: Randy Royal vs. Ryan Howe (OVW Championship Match)

Apparently the once fired Ryan Howe is somehow champion.  He comes  out playing an electric guitar and this is just awkward.   Does everyone in OVW want to be Chris Jericho?   One commentator says these two don't like each other, "they don't exchange Christmas cards"-- oh, so what, now everyone I don't send a Christmas card to is my mortal enemy?   Rob Conway is name dropped and they say they are in January 2016.   The other commentator says "young bucks" but isn't talking about the tag team.   "We might just have a homicide take place here in the ring" - something a commentator actually said.    Ryan Howe is such a cheesy gimmick...  Could you imagine one half of the Rock n Roll Express being booked to be Champion as a singles competitor in WCW or WWE back in the day?  Randy Royal has some potential, but this match was hardly main event worthy.    We take a break for a commercial so that we can not only be told to train in OVW again but also come out and see them live.    When the match returns Randy Royal has Ryan Howe down for the pin and it'd be funny if it ended right there but it didn't.   One commentator says he's going to call this the match of 2016 so far, obviously showing that he doesn't watch NJPW or, um, any wrestling outside of this one match.    Ryan Howe has an armbar submission called "The Whammy Bar" (no joke) and Randy Royal tapped out to end the match.     Well, that was anti-climatic.  

Well, the audio was bad at times and this might not have been the best place to pick up watching OVW again but I will keep up with the episodes just to see who I can see and what does happen.  I kind of want to see if Big Jon can go in the ring or not and any time I have some free time to watch more wrestling is fine by me.   I do believe these episodes would go back all the way to when OVW was part of WWE (so since this is 856, we could probably go back a long way and find Brock Lesnar, Batista and Randy Orton and also CM Punk and the Spirit Squad), but it just nice to have some more free wrestling to watch on my down time.

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