notsoterriblemovie REVIEW: The Lost Empire

            For a movie that came out in the 1980's and wasn't supposed to make money, this isn't that awful of a DVD release.   There are bad movies that you just never want to watch again and then there are bad movies that are still somewhat funny and entertaining if for the wrong reasons.  (I like to call those the “MST3K movies”)

            “The Lost Empire” is not quite what I would call a true MST3K movie, and I'm not just implying that they wouldn't commentate on it because of the nudity but because this movie does have some legs to stand on-- in the sense that I can tell why people might like this movie.

            I'm not entirely sure what this plot is about.  I'll admit I was trying to pay attention and follow it, distracted by little else, but it just wasn't making too much sense.  From what I gather, there is this womens fight club going on somewhere and a police woman infiltrates it undercover with a Native American woman who has hugely fake breasts and appears out of thin air and also a women who said cop arrested but is now helping to get out of prison.

            Wow, this story has holes written all over the script.   First off, they get the other blond out of jail because the tournament is supposed to be for women is groups of three, yet once they get to the island that idea seems to be thrown out the window with any sort of acting skills these characters involved might have had.

            Aside from the cheesy effects and lack of anything making sense, my favorite part of this movie is “the other blond” because even though she's served hard time and is a criminal she somehow proves to be the comedic relief, cracking jokes about vibrators, the bald guy waxing his eyebrows and just sort of general things that are so unfunny that they somehow become funny.

            The director of this movie, as well as its three main stars, have all had a lot to do with other cheesy movies, especially ones involving lots of nudity it would seem.   The director especially seems to be fond of making movies that have titles which parody actual movies only have been altered to create suggestive undertones.   Oddly enough, this movie did not end up having nearly as much nudity in it as I thought it would based upon that information, the description and just the general feel for it overall, but hey, I'm fine with that.

            This movie ends with an explosive scene where the island, umm... explodes.   If nothing else, it is worth sitting through this unintentionally funny movie which had its bright spots to get to that satisfying conclusion.