Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Loose Cannon Fodder #38 [09.23.16]

We started the new week- as we usually do- with WWE Monday Night RAW and I was actually excited to see the Cruiserweights in action.    Of course we opened with talking and this time Roman Reigns was mad at Rusev, which brought out just about everyone and that lead to Reigns-Rusev being signed for Clash of Champions as well as Rusev-Rollins and Owens-Reigns in a cage for tonight.   They could have just showed us a graphic and gave us more wrestling, but whatever.    Rollins vs. Rusev ended in a double count out because neither can really afford a loss right now, going into their respective title matches soon enough.

In a surprising move of the night, the Hulu 90 minute replay cut off Braun Strowman's victory over Sin Cara, Bo Dallas defeating a jobber and- gasp- Cesaro winning the sixth match and tying the Best of Seven Series with Sheamus.   I don't know who in WWE decided to let that be one of the matches they let slide this week- since I seemingly keep suffering through them and will probably watch Clash of Champions on Monday and fast forward through the final match- but I applaud whoever made that call.   Please, WWE, I beg of you.  Whoever decided to cut that match from the Hulu replay deserves a raise.

Charlotte and Dana Brooke def. Sasha Banks and Bayley and I must admit that I do enjoy that Dana Brooke is playing the unxpected foil in some ways to Charlotte right now, like making Charlotte's title defense a triple threat now for instance.   I've never been a fan of Dana Brooke but this role seems to fit her well since I also don't like Charlotte.   It will also interesting to see what happens when Emma makes her comeback sooner rather than later.

There was this awkward tag team match next where The New Day, Sami Zayn, Enzo Amore and Big Cass defeated The Shining Stars, Gallows & Anderson and Chris Jericho.  This was a lot of people in the ring at the same time and I wonder who this sort of match appeals to really.

Here is something I don't understand: why was Daniel Bryan a commentator for the CWC and yet he is not on the same brand as the Cruiserweights?   Mick Foley came out and stumbled over his line about it not being the size of the dog in the fight but it being the size of the fight in the dog.   This wasn't as bad as he then proceeded to READ THE NAMES OF THE CRUISERWEIGHTS OFF OF CUE CARDS AS IF HE NEVER EVEN WATCHED THE CWC.    Get Corey Graves in the ring to do the intros.   Fly me out there.  I don't care.   I know these guys a/s/l so it's rather upsetting when the GM of their brand seems... to... not.

Brian Kendrick won a four way to earn a title shot against TJ Perkins at Clash of Champions.    Gran Metalik looked small coming out on the big stage and I'm still not 100% sold on Cedric Alexander.   Though I'm still suspicious that one day someone like Brock Lesnar or Braun Strowman is just going to come out and destroy the whole division, but hey, hooray for reasons to watch RAW again.

It was odd that WWE seemed to throw all of the cruiserweights, all of their women and all of their tag teams into three matches, right??

In the main event of RAW, Roman Reigns defeated Kevin Owens by barely escaping the cage before him.   I always thought cage matches were strange- and this just furthered that belief- in the sense that if your opponent is climbing the cage and trying to escape, why would you climb up after him to try and stop him instead of, you know, running for the door?   I still remember when The Steiner Bros. fought Money Inc. in a cage though and won by Rick Steiner putting I believe it was IRS on his shoulders.   This match had that feel to it, which was all right because it was different and now somehow puts Reigns back (or still) in the title picture without Kevin Owens being pinned or submitted.    After the match, Rusev came out and beat down Reigns with Owens until Seth Rollins made the save.    I'm still having a hard time adjusting to Seth Rollins being a "face" as him saving Roman Reigns when he was feuding with him not that long ago just seems so rushed.

After RAW I was watching this TNA One Night Only X Division show for some reason and it was funny that they kept showing clips in between matches of "classic X Division moments", like, please remember that the X Division wasn't always this bad and we used to have really talented guys and it used to be better than WWE but then we somehow dropped the ball and... Yeah.    Everyone I wanted to see on this show lost in their first round matches so it was a bit upsetting.   If you watch it though, you'll get to hear HurriHelms say "Someone call 911 for that burn!"   Yes, really.

On Smack Down! we opened with a contract signing between Becky Lynch and Alexa Bliss.   My problem with this is that I don't really like Alexa Bliss either, but I really don't want Becky Lynch to be champion any more.   I'm already tired of this whole "Becky Balboa" thing and people get mad about the same women dominating on RAW but, I mean, if this is the alternative... Where is Nia Jax?  She should be dominating on Smack Down!, really.    Can she just switch shows and come over and squash Becky Lynch?   But yeah, this segment was painful to watch.

The Usos defeated American Alpha to become number one contenders to the tag team titles because why not bring American Alpha up to the main roster and have them job out to one of the most forced heel turns I've ever seen.

Baron Corbin defeated Apollo Crews with Jack Swagger on commentary, building to a Swagger-Corbin match.   I'm glad Swagger has his priorities together by coming to Smack Down! to challenge Baron Corbin.

The Miz defeated Dolph Ziggler in a match which shows why Dolph Ziggler shouldn't renew his WWE contract when the time comes and go off and do his comedy thing.   We also saw another vignette for Curt Hawkins at some point in this show.   Now, I like Curt Hawkins and all-- we're both Mets fans-- but this gimmick hasn't even debuted yet and it's already stupid.    On a scale of 1 to 10 it's not quite as stupid as Eli Drake but I struggle to find something else which is worse right now.

Randy Orton defeated Erick Rowan in a singles match and I'm just waiting for Luke Harper to return.   Remember when Randy Orton was in Evolution and he had Legacy as his own stable?   Maybe it's time for him to get a stable again to help him feud with the Wyatt Family.

After a women's match, AJ Styles gave his thoughts on the main event and for the first time in a very long time John Cena lost clean on Smack Down! and it was to Dean Ambrose.    It was an interesting match but I still feel like they will have their own feud one day after their match with AJ Styles.

Impact opened with Matt Hardy trying to bring Brother Nero back to life.   Lashley then came out to cut a promo, which was kind of weak and I was wishing we were still watching The Hardyz.    Aron Rex won the first match of the night in the Grand Championship Tournament by defeating Trevor Lee and I already don't care about this title.  

Matt Hardy continued to put together the pieces at his compound and then of course Maria was in the ring to call out Gail Kim.   At this point, I'm pretty sure they're just going to have a shouting match for that title at Bound For Glory.   I read this interview with Gail Kim and she said this is something fans of TNA have been waiting something like eight months for, but really, I got tired of this feud, like, seven months ago.   Yes, I will admit that there are feuds out there which need a bigger build (Like Moose vs. Lashely) but this didn't need to last more than a month and now it has run its course ten times over.   Gail Kim should have won the KO Title by now and be holding it while be introducted into the TNA Hall of Fame and then, well, they could start a new KO era after that.   

Next up we had this interesting match with exposed turnbuckles (!) and also it was in an empty arena.   Rock Star Spud took on Braxton Sutter.   You know, the last empty arena match I remember was in WWE during a time when they were at the top of the mountain-- so much so that people would switch over from the Super Bowl at half time to watch it.  Now this... This just feels like people are going to be flipping through channels, land on this for a minute or two and wonder why no one is in the arena.   It's not "hardcore" it just makes TNA look poorly attended to the average viewer.   Also, I love how Josh Mathews felt the need to point out that they had to take all of the fans OUT of the arena for the match.   No, Mathews, I believe you.   It makes no logical sense to tape this match BEFORE the show when no one is in the arena yet.   Let's just chase everyone out mid-show and hope they come back for... Our... Main... Oh shit.    The match ended with Rock Star Spud spewing blood and, I mean, Spud always picks these fights and he never wins.   It just doesn't make sense anymore really.  

Matt Hardy and Brother Nero came out to challenge The Decay at Bound For Glory and, really, right now, this is one of the only matches I am looking forward to at Bound For Glory.   

Up next was a KO gauntlet and Maria replaced Allie with someone named Laurel Van Ness, who apparently was Chelsea Green on the most recent season of Tough Enough.   Maria said that Allie wasn't a wrestler and so she replaced her with someone better who was also taller and I'm hoping this Maria-Allie feud doesn't take eight freaking months for a payoff.   Jade was out first with Laurel Van Ness, then Sienna came out next.   Maybe Sienna and LV can be a tag team?  Should we bring back the KO Tag Titles?  (Too soon?)   Gail Kim is out next.   Gail Kim already has a title shot at Bound For Glory, so what is the point of this gauntlet again?  Marti Belle joins the match to remind us how few women are left in TNA.    Raquel was out next and she botched getting into the ring along... with... all... of... her... other... moves.   So who is left now?    Oh, and Madison Rayne is apparently still employed by TNA.   Apparently once everyone is out we have over the top eliminations which makes little to no sense but since we get down to the final two- Gail Kim and Sienna- it has now turned into pinfall or submission only.    People will complain that RAW is dominated by Charlotte, Sasha Banks and now Bayley, but at least that hasn't been going on as long as this.   

It was Sheera vs. Eddie Edwards in the next match in the Grand Championship Tournament, not that it matters because we all know Drew Galloway vs. Aron Rex is going to be the finals.   Probably.   But anyway, this was a fun match if you like, you know, not wrestling.    Edwards makes Sheera tap to probably go on and lose to Drew Galloway while I can only imagine Aron Rex will defeat Eli Drake.   Why is Eli Drake in this again?  That guy is the worst.  

In what could maybe be considered the main event, Lashley and Moose had this brawl going until EC3 made his return and the theme of this show seemed to be Lashley thinking he wasn't facing EC3 at BFG and, look, now they are going to face each other.   Ha!  What a clever way to end this fine program.  

NXT opened this week with Samoa Joe and William Regal telling us Shinsuke Nakamura would be out for six to twelve weeks and, yeah, I'm not going to enjoy that time without him.   Samoa Joe says he's going to wreck everyone on the roster if he's not given the title and this might be the time for Regal to consider trading him to Smack Down!.

Austin Aries defeated Oney Lorcan in a long and decent match.  I'm still not sold on the "Oney Lorcan" name though.   Aries called out Hideo Itami after the match but then ran away from him.   Aries-Itami should be great.

In two weeks Dan Matha is coming.

Billie Kay defeated Aliyah and I still just don't see it in Aliyah.    Another Sanity teaser aired.   

Cedric Alexander defeated Andrade "Cien" Almas in the main event and since this was being hyped as Alexander's NXT debut you knew he was going to win and, I mean, really, has Almas had a win since being in NXT?  I mean, he won his debut against Tye Dillinger (I think) and he has probably had a match or two since where he's defeated lesser card guys on the weekly show, but when it comes to opponents who matter it seems like Almas is on a terrible losing streak.    I don't know how WWE is going to turn this around and make him look credible in the eyes of fans again.  

Silas Young opened this next episode of ROH TV.   Steve Corino was back on commentary.   No more mask.    Silas Young tells some kid who has a sign that says "It's My Birthday" that he doesn't care if it's his birthday.    Silas YOung takes on Yano in a clash of styles of sorts, with Yano not being quite as serious as Silas Young.     With the tights, Silas Young picks up the win and then tries to do the post match attack until the Briscoes make the save.

Christopher Daniels cut a backstage promo about his upcoming title defense- oddly enough without  Frankie Kazarian- and he said something about being a bad father and telling time to fuck off.    Still, wshould be a good match with the tag teams and ladders and all.

"The Punishment" Damian Martinez comes out with Kevin Sullivan and BJ Whitmer to take on Cheeseburger.  I liked it better when he was Punisher Martinez and he lost in the Top Prospects tournament, but oh well.    It is also odd they put this match on at the same time Steve Corino returns to commentary.    Kevin Sullivan and Steve Corino on commentary together, arguing with each other, was more entertaining than this match and that says a lot since I don't really care about whatever these guys are trying to do.   At all.

In the main event, Adam Cole and "Hangman" Adam Page took on Michael Elgin and Tanahashi.   I still think Elgin got a bum wrap in ROH and wouldn't mind seeing him brought into TNA to kick some ass.   Also, Adam Cole is impressing me lately, and that goes the same for Adam Page.   These two as a tag team are money and could easily headline a PPV against reDRagon.    This was a good match to end the show on and with a Michael Elgin figure in my collection and Adam Cole on the way, I realize Tanahashi is sort of off limits being in New Japan (Though I'd still LOVE to see him in the Wrestling Super Store line) but "Hangman" Adam Page seems like he'd be a good addition in the future as well.  

Our newest episode of Impact opened up with Drew Galloway vs. Eddie Edwards in the Grand Championship tournament, which I somehow managed to predict without reading spoilers.    Eddie Edwards almost had the pin but then time ran out in the third round and it went to the judges.   Drew Galloway won via split decision- as if there was any doubt- and the way they made this feel like UFC was kind of boring to me.   After the match, EC3 came out to see Drew Galloway for some reason.   Galloway said he'd win the Grand Championship and give EC3 a shot but EC3 wouldn't last two rounds with him.   Lashley and Mike Bennett came out to beat down EC3 before Moose made the save.    I'm not sure I like the idea of Drew Galloway saying "I'm going to win this title and then defend it against you when you blow your title shot" or even the idea of EC3 winning the title and there being a champion vs. champion match already, but whatever.   We'll see what happens after Bound For Glory.

In our second match- so far no really long talking bits- Aron Rex defeated Eli Drake and to the surprise of no one he will be advancing to the finals against Drew Galloway.   Did they really have to make a new championship and this tournament to get to Galloway vs. Rex?  Seems like a lot of work for nothing if you ask me.  They could have just booked the match for BFG like they did with Mike Bennett and Moose.   Ah well.

The Decay had a segment about The Hardyz which I rather liked.   Once The Decay really got going with Abyss, they became one of my favorite parts of TNA.   Now, with them feuding with The Hardyz... I never want it to end.   This is just so great right now and undoubtedly the best part of TNA as well.

Cody Rhodes has a vignette announcing he is coming to Bound For Glory.   How many former WWE stars are in the big picture of TNA now?   I like the idea of Cody Rhodes in TNA because it feels like they will use him better than WWE ever did, but the thing is, it doesn't really hold as much value when every guy WWE fires goes to TNA and says they're misused and should be world champion (Aron Rex comes to mind)   And it just seems like TNA keeps pushing for that with every new signing when, you know, there are a ton of names out there who they could sign and push that have never been in WWE.   I'm not saying that TNA could sign someone like Naito because he likely has a better deal in New Japan, but still, why does it have to feel like all of TNA's talent are former WWE talent?

The Decay came out to the ring to cut a promo now.     Of course this brings out Broken Matt and then Brother Nero, who are in the crowd.   The lights go out and when they come back up, Crazzy Steve and Abyss are tied up to the ring and Reby begins beating up Rosemary.   I'm actually kind of okay with a Rosemary-Reby match for some reason.

DJ Z comes out and his opponent is Trevor Lee.   You have to wonder how the X Division will change in TNA in the coming months with WWE introducing their Cruiserweight Division now.   DJ Z won the match and then Andrew Everett got involved before Eddie Edwards made the save.  It's okay you lost your Grand Championship match deal, Double E-- you can come face DJ Z for the title now.   Eddie Edwards issues the challenge for a title shot to DJ Z, who of course accepts and it is on for next week.   Taking bets now on the Helms Dynasty getting involved and there being a tag match at BFG.

First, Maria defeated a wrestler who I could not identify and then a masked wrestler came out and revealed herself to be Gail Kim as she beat up Allie.   This was a rather pointless segment as we head towards Maria vs. Gail Kim which feels like it has happened a million times already.

TNA aired that Cody Rhodes teaser again, in case you missed it the first time.

Lashley and Mike Bennett took on Moose and EC3 in the main event.    This was about what you might expect in the sense that it was building up to singles matches for them.   It's kind of the reason why I don't mind Brock Lesnar working limited dates because could you imagine Brock Lesnar and Rusev teaming to take on Randy Orton and Roman Reigns before a PPV?   It just seems so out of place to me somehow, even though it seems to be the norm in professional wrestling.   At the end of the match, Billy Corgan set up Lethal Lockdown next week and the winner will pick the stipulation for the Lashley-EC3 match at Bound For Glory so if EC3 wins I'm guessing cage and if Lashley wins I'm guessing submission only.  

We ended our week with the newest episode of Lucha Underground, which wasn't much to talk about like the Marty The Moth-Killshot match we've seen so far this season.   But I feel like it was a building episode.   I was also kind of upset with it because Johnny Mundo told Daro Cueto in his office he'd be in his dojo instead of competing and then when the trio came out which was to have Mundo in it Matt Striker was all about "Where is Johnny Mundo?".   I understand if Matt Striker can't see the backstage segments like we can, but someone could tell him somehow, right?   They could certainly have better communication within The Temple so I'm not watching Matt Striker thinking he's an idiot because if you're paying attention at home you know the answer to his question.   In some ways, it's really just insulting to the audience, but hopefully next week will be a better episode.

So we made it up to Clash of Champions- catching up with everything previously- and I'm not sure we're going to actually watch Clash of Champions except maybe for a few matches here and there so next week we'll likely begin with RAW in an attempt to let you know how I felt about Clash of Champions as a show after reading the results.  

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