Wednesday, July 1, 2015

CD Review: CyberPeanut "35 and Lookin' Fine" (Captain Crook Records)

[SOLD OUT // Edition of 9 //]

These two songs come on a mini-CD that has the sides of it cut off.   Apparently that excess weight is not needed for a CD to play.   Who knew?   So if the idea of this as a mini-CD (I want to start a bitchin' mini-CD collection) doesn't get you interested then perhaps it will since it is sliced and diced.    This is when I wish CDs could flip (Though DVDs do, right, in boxd sets you have movies on both sides-- I remember having one side widescreen and one side full screen) this is when you would have the true single, or on record a 45.   Yeah, I'll just do this as a song-by-song review because why not.

<1> "35 and Lookin' Fine" - This is pretty pschedelic.   It sounds like the vocals are on helium.   The guitars go into what could be thought of as a ska riff, so someone should add some horns to this.   I'm pretty sure he said something about Pokemon, but I'll check the lyrics.    Yup, lyrics checked and he did.    Now he's counting.   And he ends by saying "I like older ladies".   It's actually funny because this song- lyrically- is about how he is 29 years old and finds a woman he likes who is 35 (ain't nothin' wrong with that) but for me personally, I'm 35 as I sit here and type this so I assumed the song would be about him, like "I'm 35 and lookin' good".   But women do tend to age better than men, am I right?  I've aged pretty horribly, so maybe I'm not the best example.   I still like to think that this could be my theme song in some parallel universe if it wasn't about someone else and was in the first person.

<2> "Butter Lust" - Butter is bad for you.   That's all I ever hear.  I actually don't eat a lot of butter, unless it's on popcorn sometimes because I used to eat my popcorn plain when we had to make it over the stove but now that we have a microwave I'm eating the stuff with all the butter and other bad things in it.   We used to not have a microwave because I thought the gamma rays from it would eventually turn me into The Hulk, but now I say bring it on.    Oh yeah, the song.   It begins with an acoustic guitar jingle and vocals that do not sound like they're on helium.   The guitar riff here is nice and he also just said, "Yeah, bitch, I didn't stutter"... and then he said it again.  Is this the chorus hook?   This might be the most gangsta folk punk song I've ever heard.   Folk punk boys about to THROW DOWN over some buttah!!   Now he's saying he might be having a heart attack-- see butter IS bad for you.   At least this year, next year they'll probably tell you it's good for you and you should eat more.  I don't know, man, all these doctors and people are stupid because they always say something is bad for you one minute and later on change their minds.     So I just do what I want now.  And, NO, under no circumstances do I want to see a video for this song with people covering themselves in butter.   Umm, Pokemon toys covered in butter maybe.

So this CD is sold out (sad for you) but the songs are still available for download.   I don't know what the price of this was, but most single releases like this on Captain Crook Records go for a dollar at some point.   So don't download this one for free, give them at least $1 because The Captain has to eat too.   If you really want to be a Scrooge McDuck though you could drop down $2 and give them a dollar per song.

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