Sunday, February 21, 2016

Life In The Fastlane Feels A Lot Like a Pitstop (WWE Fastlane Predictions 2016)

It's that time of year again when we make one last pointless pitstop before Wrestlemania.   I mean, really, this PPV should be called "useless filler" and I feel like WWE had some sort of PPV deal once where they had to do this just to fill some contract but now with The Network isn't this something we could avoid?    Well, at least HHH isn't putting his title on the line or at least there wasn't a Rumble winner this year that goes onto Wrestlemania so it's all "I'll put my title match at Wrestlemania on the line against you!" It makes it seem less pointless but we should really already have our Wrestlemania main event set by now.  Ah well, onto the predictions!  (Though you don't need a crystal ball to book this one)

Kalisto vs. Alberto Del Rio (2 out of 3 Falls Match for the United States Title)

If this match is for the United States Title and the WWE Title is not being defended on this show then why is it scheduled for the pre-show?   Especially if it is two out of three falls.    If I was Alberto Del Rio I would just do what I've done in every WWE video game I've ever played and what should be considered the best way to win a two out of three falls match: Hit your opponent with a chair until he bleeds, take the DQ and go down 0-1 but then you'll easily be able to sweep the next two falls.   Listen to me ADR and you shall be the next U.S. Champion, but I don't see that happening.   I think Wrestlemania needs a Money In The Bank match this year more than ever and I believe Kalisto will be in it.   Having him in it as the U.S Champion will make him seem like more of a threat somehow.

Edge and Christian Interview New Day

Not even sure why I put this in here to type about.

Big Show, Ryback and Kane vs. The Wyatt Family

I'm not even sure why this is on the pay-per-view.    This match should be on the pre-show.   They should put Bray Wyatt in it and have Mark Henry added to the other side, huh?  That would just make it that much better somehow.   You know, for whoever likes this kind of thing.   But yeah, this could be the worst match at Fastlane and that's saying a lot when you look at the card.

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs. Naomi and Tamina

This could be the best match on the card.   Sasha Banks is what WWE is all about right now.   Unfortunately, I expect some trouble like they're having down in NXT and we eventually see a triple threat at Wrestlemania because Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch cannot come to a clear winner to be the number one contender.   Oh, wait.   This isn't a number one contender match for the DIvas Title it's a tag team match.   Yeah, no way Naomi and Tamina are winning this-- not even if they bring back Cameron.  #FunkIsOnARoll

AJ Styles vs. Chris Jericho

I feel like Chris Jericho could have won the IC title for the umpteenth time on Raw then fought AJ Styles for it at Wrestlemania and it'd be better than where WWE creative is going with this, but here we go... The rubber match.   Of course AJ Styles will win and propel him into Money In The Bank at Wrestlemania (please) but the only question is what does that mean for Chris Jericho?   Will he even still be in WWE around Wrestlemania time or will he be back on the road with Fozzy Fosbourne?  The world may never know (or care)

Charlotte vs. Brie Bella (WWE Divas Title Match)

This could be Brie's farewell match.   That means she isn't going to win.   This also doesn't help us get to Charlotte vs. Sasha vs. Becky at Wrestlemania, so yeah, this will be a match I will most likely be reading tweets during instead of actually watching.   My guess?  Brie yells "BRIE MODE!!" goes for the kicks, Charlotte grabs a leg and hooks on the Figure 8.  Done and won.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler (WWE Intercontinental Title Match)

I have this great dream of Sami Zayn coming up to the main roster to challenge Kevin Owens at Wrestlemania and why not there are enough injured members on the WWE roster right now.   In fact, Kevin Owens could pull a page out of John Cena's book and do an open challenge which Sami Zayn could answer.   But how likely is that?  How likely does it feel that we will get a decent IC Title match at 'Mania?  I'm thinking Kevin Owens will retain here and go into a MITB match at WM for similar reasons as Kalisto.   But yeah, Dolph could still find himself in there with Kalisto, Owens and why not, Alberto Del Rio as well.  

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose (#1 Contender's Match)

A lot of this match is common sense.   Everyone knows that Bray Wyatt will cost Brock Lesnar the match, Roman Reigns wins and we have Brock-Bray and HHH-Reigns at 'Mania.   But if you don't want to go down that boring path (and I don't) then why not have Dean Ambrose win?  I'd love nothing more than to see Brock Lesnar hit Roman Reigns with the F5, Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Family take out Brock and then Dean Ambrose scores the pin on Brock for the win.   Though it would be nice if Brock gave Reigns an F5, then got pulled outside the ring by the Wyatt Family and while Brock was brawling with them Dean Ambrose pinned Roman Reigns.   They would later say that it was only business and not personal, but we all know that won't be true.   Once Dean Ambrose wins the title at Wrestlemania (Who knows/cares what Roman Reigns will do) Roman Reigns will turn on him the next night on Raw.   Although, yeah, if you're into WWE you know that will probably happen but only with the roles of Ambrose and Reigns reversed.   This *could* have Dean Ambrose winning MITB at WM, but I'm going to think about him winning this match for right now.

So at Wrestlemania we will have Brock Lesnar vs. Bray Wyatt because apparently Bray Wyatt wants to see how many big stars he can lose to on the grandest stage of them all.   HHH will defend against Dean Ambrose (But it will really be Roman Reigns.  Sssshhh)  And then the Divas Title will be defended in a triple threat with Bayley coming out at the end, which I've touched upon before.    Now all of this will also feature the Money In The Bank match and here is how that should go down.

The participants will be AJ Styles, Kevin Owens, Kalisto, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler and Tyler Breeze.   Seems like a solid lineup, right?   Now here is where it gets tricky.   When AJ is about to climb the ladder and win the lights go out.   Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson are in the ring.   AJ looks happy to see them, in a way like they're going to congratulate him.   They pull him down though and proceed to take the boots to him.    We wonder why and then the lights go out again.   Enter Demon Balor.   Enter Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles, a feud we need to see to make WWE relevant again.   Oh, and Tyler Breeze will win MITB.   People will say he won't cash it in successfully but he will and as champion he will be gorgeous.    Okay, enough fantasy booking.   I'll have "predictions" again soon for Wrestleyawnia.  

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