Friday, May 31, 2013

MP3 REVIEW: Chaise Rouge "PANDIUM"

Chaise Rouge "PANDIUM"
7 CHF to Download / Free to Stream

            When you first start listening to these songs, you can’t but help feel like some kind of joke is being played on you, the listener.    The first song (Though I wouldn’t technically classify it as a song) is mostly what they call in the radio business “dead air”, with only a few little clinks and clanks here and there.  It makes just enough noise so that when you begin to suspect you aren’t really listening to anything (Maybe the song is frozen, maybe the song isn’t really there and it was uploaded wrong, whatever your reasoning is for pressing play and hearing nothing) you can be assured that the song is doing exactly what it is supposed to: driving you nuts.

            By the end of the first track, we get some beeps and other sounds that make me think of a modem dialing up, which leads us into more songs that actually are songs.   What follows is a poppy mess that Neon Trees and Passion Pit would fight over the rights to own.

            It’s not that these songs are particularly bad- though they don’t stand out as being particularly good either- but I am still not able to review them objectively after that first track.   Imagine having never met someone before and the first thing they do when you meet them is punch you in the stomach.   Then they explain that suckerpunch by saying, “Now review my music without being biased”.   Yeah.  Right.

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